Horse Dewormer For All Ding Dongs

No shot nation

When Hamilton sang, “I’m not gonna waste my shot,” he wasn’t talking to the millions of Americans who would rather ingest horse dewormer than get vaccinated.

“I’m delighted with my horse dewormer,” said Nutsforbrains Jones, whose organs were morphing into an acrid foam and spewing out of his naval. There was also an odd cowpie smell emitting from his mouth, but he insisted it was all part of the healing process.

I tried to warn the line of people Nutsforbrains was selling horse dewormer to, but they nailed me to a stake, called me a Democrat, and tried to burn me alive. Luckily, there was a mad dash to buy the last of the horse dewormer, so they forgot about me.

I continued to explain to dewormer folks that the COVID shot had fewer side effects than the dewormer, but they were pretty out of it after ingesting the stuff.

The dewormer ingesters were starting to resemble the cast from The Walking Dead. They began group snarling, which caused my hair to frizz and turn blueish. What was in that horse dewormer?

I ended up spending the entire night on the stake, but it could have been worse. I could have been a horse. Desperately in need of dewormer, unable to get any because those hoarding Americans, who bought up all the toilet paper and hand wipes, now had their eyes on my horse dewormer.

Thanks to James Knight for inspiring this ridiculous piece on dewormers. James’ piece is not ridiculous, however. It is excellent. He cannot be blamed for the number of times this writer wrote dewormer.

Also, no horses were injured writing this piece, but many would really like their dewormer back. If you are one of the many Americans hoarding horse dewormers, please call 1–888-DUMBHUMAN.

Horse dewormer has no affiliation to de-Bears. Not that I know of, but anything is possible.