If You’re Waiting For Your State to Entice you with a Beer, You May Have a Drinking Problem
Name your price
Will you get a vaccine?
No, I won’t do it. It’s a matter of principle.
I don’t trust one goddamn thing the government tells me.
Have you watched Fox news? Tucker Carlson, that preppy slice of man meat, keeps me well informed about the ingredients of the vax. You probably didn’t know Rachel Maddow was a liberal hologram, did ya?
I’m not getting tagged by Bill Gates. Especially now that I know he wasn’t faithful to French, formerly known as Melinda. I’m not letting him insert any of his nasty motherboards into my DNA. You know he’s coming for us, right?
No thank you, I refuse to be part alien. I have no desire to be telepathic. Have you seen the film, “What Women Want?” It’s terrifying.
I will not have my DNA altered in a lab. Have you seen Jurassic Park? What if I end up with those T Rex Arms. I’m already short. I don’t want to walk around with a ladder in my purse.
If this is my time, this is my time.
I went to a psychic and they said I’m dying by Chihuahua. I don’t know if they meant cheese or monkey, or one of those yippy little dogs people are always given Mexican names to. I never heard COVID described as a Chihuahua, so I’m out.
How about a little incentive?
Would you get vaccinated for a chance to win a million dollars? Well, sure, I can toss out my theories for a cool mill.
What about a new car? Well, my Civic is getting sort of janky.
Thousands of dollars? I got two kids in college. Hell yeah.
How about a beer? Not a million bucks?
No, beer. What about a car?
Nope, beer. Thousands of dollars, direct deposit?
Nuh-uh, beer. So, just a beer?
Oh hell no. A case of beer. Well, damn woman, why didn't you say so. Shut up and poke me.