Why Are the Schools Refusing to Teach My Kids to Be Gay?
Where the hell else they gonna learn it?
Check out this new Florida bill supported by demonic spawn, Ron DeSantis. It’s called the “Don’t Say Gay Bill.” It’s appalling. I’m so angry, I can’t see straight.
“Schools need to be teaching kids to read, to write,” DeSantis said. “They need to teach them science, history. We need more civics and understanding of the U.S. Constitution, what makes our country unique, all those basic stuff.”
As a concerned Florida parent, what am I supposed to do now? My hands are tied. My bikini is in knots. I’m sending my kids to school to learn how to be gay. Why the hell else would I be sending them to school?
Math? When are my kids gonna use math? Science? Does anybody even agree on what science is anymore? English and literature? They already speak English and nobody reads books anymore. History? Already happened.
This new anti-education bill prohibits the discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity in schools. I don’t even understand gender anymore — he, she, they, we, person, man, woman, camera, tv.
When I was young, I crawled into a sexual identity box and they threw away the key. And then they threw the box into the river, trapped it under a slimy algae rock where no one could get to it without slipping into the river and cracking their head open. End of story.
I grew up in a household where my mas and pops referred to gay men as fairies and gay women as quarterbacks. Math, schmath. Gay is a subject my kids can use in life. Why do you think I don’t homeschool?
When you homeschool, you gotta know more about the subjects than the teachers and I never learned how to be properly gay in school. Back in my day, gay was playground bullying— something you hid to survive.
I don’t know how to teach gay for God’s sake. I don’t think God would even want me to. Not her, God would say, she never got beyond remedial gay.
I wrongly assumed my kids would learn to be gay in school. That’s why I transferred to this school district. I heard they taught really good gay in Florida schools.
You should have seen the SAT scores our Florida schools got in the gay sections of the test. Russia and China were seriously threatened by our gay curriculum. It was reverse gay Sputnik.
Now, they’re saying teaching gay is not age-appropriate. But science is? My daughter came home today having just dissected a fetal pig? Is that age-appropriate?
Does my daughter work in an animal morgue? Don’t tell me what’s age-appropriate, King of the Florida man, Ron DeSantis. Why do my kids need to know about the insides of an unborn pig but they’re too young to even say the word gay in school?
Now you’re telling me the teachers can’t say gay either? Are we headed back to the Greatest Generation when they used less educated words for gays?
Thank the lord for California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Nevada, New Jersey, and Oregon that have laws requiring the LGBTQ curriculum. I’ll send my kids to those states to learn how to be gay.
I wish someone taught me how to be gay. My gay wife says I’m terrible at it. She says I don’t have to call her my gay wife — it’s implied. See? I suck at gay. Please help me break the cycle. Teach gay at school.